


Now I'm Falling

by CityOfPaperBuildings



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CityOfPaperBuildings/pseuds/CityOfPaperBuildings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tonight is the last night that Boyd will spend in Beacon Hills for some time. He’s headed to NYU in the morning, his bag is packed and by the door. A new life awaits. </p><p>So why is it so hard to let go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now I'm Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by these lyrics from Joshua Radin's song 'Like They Used To':  
> "I want my clothes to smell like you do,  
> Like they used to."
> 
> (Description edited 3 August because I realised it was awful).

Tonight is the last night that Boyd will spend in Beacon Hills for some time. He’s headed to NYU in the morning, his bag is packed and by the door. A new life awaits.

Scott hosts a farewell dinner. They’re all drifting away over the next few days and this is their night to say goodbye to each other but it is so much harder than Boyd thought it would be, could be. They've all wound themselves into the corners of each other’s lives. They occupy spaces in each other’s hearts that were hard won, earned in fire and ash and blood.

But Derek is the worst of all, the hardest to find the words for. Boyd looks about but can’t see him so he follows his nose and finds him in Scott's front yard, his eyes lost in a thousand yard stare. Derek's sitting on the grass, arms resting on drawn up knees, a beer hanging idly in his fingers, swigs taken from it absently, out of habit more than anything. Boyd folds himself up & sits beside him, unconsciously mimicking his pose.

He’s silent for a while, trying to wrangle the thoughts swirling in his head into some sort of order.

“I don't know how to begin,” he said, staring straight ahead. It was easier to do this without looking at Derek, the same way you say things in the middle of the night that you'd never dare voice in the harsh light of day. “I'm not sure I'd have survived high school without you all, emotionally that is, even though knowing you did make it less likely that I’d physically survive at all...” He trailed off as his mind flickered back to the beginning of junior year. “The thought of not seeing you, everyone, every day is fucking hard. I never thought leaving Beacon Hills would be difficult. I've been saving up to get out of this town for as long as I can remember but now that it’s finally here, leaving doesn’t seem all that appealing.”

Derek turned to him and looked him straight in the eye. Boyd's stomach rolled and squirmed, as it did every time Derek looked at him like this, as though he could see straight to his core. But Boyd sure as hell wasn't going to screw up what they had now for the sake of a crush. He and Derek had gravitated together, their Alpha and Beta bond strengthening over the years after Erica died and Isaac pledged his allegiance to Scott.

Boyd had wavered once and it had not gone well for him. The hurt written all over Derek's face when he left and the fight they'd had when he returned had made Boyd realise just how much Derek wanted him in the pack. And from that day on he had stayed with Derek, a mutual acknowledgement that they’d both fucked up but they were stronger together. Derek needed Boyd as much as Boyd needed him.

"You need to go, Boyd," Derek said, his voice scratchy. "You need to grow and explore, not just the city but yourself. Figure out the man you want to be and become him. There's a reason I chose you, Boyd. There's a great man in you, you just have to see him too." Derek rests a hand on Boyd's arm, warm and reassuring, even through the fabric of the hoodie.

The moment seemed to stretch on for an eternity and last only a second.

Derek breaks the spell and gets to his feet, pulling Boyd up with him, drawing him in for a brief moment, a final scenting. They fall apart and Boyd heads home, an ache sitting on his chest and a lump in his throat.

The next day his dad drops him off at the airport with a gruff goodbye and the extraction of a promise to call home every week. Boyd thinks he catches a glimpse of the Camaro in the corner of the parking lot, but he can't be sure.

/

New York is intoxicating and Boyd falls head over heels in love with the city. He's glad though that Derek taught them how to control their heightened senses otherwise he's sure he'd be curled up in a corner somewhere. Instead he revels in it all; the sounds, the smells, the people. He finds some wolves but the city is neutral territory, no one pack could control it, so it's easy to co-habit. Some of them knew Derek and Laura when they were here but Boyd doesn't want to hear the stories. His Derek isn't that boy now, Boyd doesn't want to hear about that time from others.

The pack scattered across the country after graduation. Stiles stayed in California, unwilling to stray too far from his dad; Isaac ended up in Seattle; Lydia went to Harvard; Scott went to Denver, finding himself still drawn to the forest and Allison went to Chicago.

They all talked as often as they could and it felt as easy and as normal as it had ever been. Group Skype chats happened when Lydia threatened them with unspeakable things and Boyd always felt a renewed sense of loss when they all gradually had to log off for one reason or another.

Derek didn't join in the Skype calls and part of Boyd was glad. He wasn't sure how well he'd cope having to say goodbye to Derek over and over again. They exchanged occasional texts though, updates on the refurbishment of the Hale house, the general goings on of the town, advice on wolf-related issues when Boyd felt uncertain.  
Boyd felt the disconnect keenly. They’d become so close, especially over the summer of graduation as the pack had all but lived in the loft, determined to make the most of the time they had left together in this perfect bubble. They’d draped themselves all over one another as they watched films, catching up on the classics they’d missed due to being otherwise occupied, the pack shifting and sighing and breathing as one. As the biggest, Derek and Boyd had always ended up at the bottom of the pile providing stability as the others curled around them. He missed it, more than he thought he would.

/

Derek is in the loft alone. It’s quiet and dark and fuck he misses his pack. They had been messy and loud and fought over the remote and whose turn it was to do the dishes but now they were gone Derek would do anything to have them back. It’s been almost three months since they'd been there and whereas once the whole loft had smelled like them all, their various notes intermingling to make the smell of home, now all Derek could smell was himself.

There was one scent though that Derek came across again and again. It was warm and woody, a little like cloves and cinnamon and the heady scents of the forest. It was comforting and grounding and he found himself seeking it out sometimes, just to find some peace. He knew it was weird but it felt right.

Staring at the soft maroon lacrosse hoodie in his hands, the first tangible source of the scent he'd found, he let himself miss its owner and allowed the feelings to slam into his chest.

He remembered Boyd stuffing the hoodie behind the sofa cushion one movie night as he’d sprawled, head on Derek’s chest as the rest of the pack tucked themselves into various gaps and made ones that weren't previously there, wiggling to find a rest for their heads, to feel each other’s hearts beat.

Derek had always taken a spot in the middle of the pile so he was most protected by the Betas. He was, after all, their Alpha and it didn't hurt to remind them of it sometimes. Boyd would invariably end up next to him, easily moving others aside to claim his spot. Boyd had been staking his claim as the second-in-command of the pack once it became apparent that Scott was never truly going to submit to Derek’s authority. Boyd's warmth and strength was something Derek drew on in the darkest of times, a solid presence acting as a reminder of what Derek was fighting for when it seemed so easy to slip the other way.

After these nights Derek would go to bed covered in the scents of the pack but, rising above all the others, was Boyd’s. Eventually all of Derek’s clothes were covered with the scents of the pack but all he could smell was Boyd. It was like he became attuned to his scent, picking it up everywhere he went.

But that had been then, and this was now and Derek’s clothes just smelled like him and his washing powder.

_I want my clothes to smell like you do,  
Like they used to._

**Author's Note:**

> This kinda got jossed by Season 3 but I've tried to incorporate it where possible.


End file.
